The Top Five

Well people, we made it.

Another school year down and I finally (finally) find myself in my happy place on the desk with a glass of raspberry iced tea.
And although I am beyond exhausted, I am grateful and reflective about my first year in this position (K-5 Student Advocate/Social Emotional Teacher).

I have never had a year of work where I learned so much, went through so many emotions, and made more connections. A few friends have asked me to summarize what I’ve gathered this year. And although this list is not exhaustive…here are my top five:

#1- “Assume best intentions”. As a support teacher who works with all areas of school, I got to work with a lot of people. And everyone fully believes they are fighting for what is best for kids. The way something works for one, might not for someone else… but we all care about kids.

#2- “Faith is faith“. This year I got to work with several Somali students. A coworker recommended I read “From Somalia to Snow” (linked below) and it was fascinating. I had several honest, open conversations with muslim students this year. We asked each other questions about holidays and beliefs. I learned so much about the Somali culture and feel a closer bond with their community.

#3- “Change is good for the heart”. Many asked me if I missed being in the classroom. I definitely missed having a ‘crew’ to make traditions with and plan fun lessons for. The beginning and end of the year is a bit lonely as a support teacher; with so many classes doing fun events with just their rooms. But besides that, I actually didn’t miss the classroom as much as I thought. I love my new position. I love trying to solve behaviors and teach kids how to identify when they are dysregulated and what they need. It’s hard to leave the comfort of a work groove you’ve known for decades. It would have been easy to keep going through the routine in the classroom, but my heart needed a new route.

#4- “Lead with love and compassion”. If there was a phrase I said way too much this year it was “We can be firm and loving at the same time.” I implore the education system to remember that firm boundaries don’t always mean yelling and negativity. Can I deliver a consequence while giving a hug? Yes! When we get down on the level with a child and comfort them, does that mean we’re not holding them accountable for the mess they made? Not at all. I’m not saying yelling isn’t justified at times, but teaching a behavior through modeled respect and shared decision making communicates dignity and support.

#5- When in doubt…lean in.” I started the year not knowing any kids at my school. My former students had long moved on and I was very much ‘the new lady in the hall’ to most. At first I was hesitant to reach out…especially to those cool big kids. But as the year went on, I watched more. I watched the kid who seemed a bit down, the kid who was always alone, the kid who rarely smiled…and I chose to engage more; smile, say hi, ask how their day was. I would rather reach out, even when it’s awkward, so that child knows there’s another adult who is looking out for them.
Every morning on the way to school I pass a high schooler walking to her bus stop. I don’t know her hardly at all, but her family has gone to our church. Some days I think- I’m sure she dreads that obligatory wave back every morning…but I’ve also decided I don’t care. High school is hard, man. What if that wave is a simple reminder that she is cared for…even by weird moms of random neighbors.

And so I end this year just being so very glad.
I’m glad to have a principal who fought for this position.
I’m glad to have coworkers that invited me in and let me co-love their students.
I’m glad I got to be vulnerable and admit I was still learning something.

And I’m real glad for this raspberry iced tea with my feet up on the deck on a summer afternoon.

Happy summer, all.

** From Somalia to Snow was a great read! Easy to get through and taught me a lot about Somali culture. I’m happy I read it.