Nudge

We try so hard to hyper-control every aspect of our lives. Those who have struggled with infertility know it is feudal to try and manage the timing of the miracle of life. And while it certainly makes sense to make responsible choices, I’ve been reminded of the power of being at the mercy of just… listening.

This past week I’ve had some amazing conversations with valued friends and coworkers. Being in learning mode this year, I’ve been pushing hard to soak in all the sparks of interest involved with trauma and play. But it feels like time to listen to the universe. (If my almost-teenage daughter read that last line, she would most certainly declare me ‘cringey’.)

Lately when certain people pop into my thoughts- I’ve tried to follow that nudge and send them a message or plan a call. And I’ve been so glad I did; I’ve felt more connected just listening for what I need to learn from that conversation.

I’m not sure I 100% believe in signs, but I certainly feel a rooted reassurance when I am present and listening. Distraction and control come in many forms- a job, consuming kids’ activities, bingeing on shows (guilty)…but paying attention to where we’re being led to involves honesty, vulnerability, and seeing the good in things around us.

We’ve all heard popular urban legend stories of those “gut feelings” that came at the right time and place, but my recent favorite is from the book I highlighted below. Author Matthew Kelly talks about heading home from work and a friend came to mind. He hadn’t heard from him in awhile and knew he was having a tough time so he swung by his house on a whim. The friend and his place were a mess, so he made him take a shower while he ordered a pizza. They sat and talked and later the friend confessed he was planning to take his own life that night. That simple visit and pizza reminded him that someone did care. Matthew Kelly says, ” Something like that stops you in your tracks. It reminds you how powerful our actions are and how tragic inaction can be.”
Pay attention to those nudges…you just never know.

I, along with many fellow Catholic church attendees, got this book for free on Christmas Eve. Several archdioceses around the country have handed out books the last few years. I’ve enjoyed Matthew Kelly and his message of becoming the best-version-of-yourself, so I tried it out. This feels as if you are looking into his private journal. Different than any of his other books, it’s like he just wrote down all his revelations as the came up… and it kind of worked. I found it brutally honest about struggles in life and glad I listened to the “nudge” to read it this week. One of my favorite quotes from it tied in perfectly with the connections I’ve had recently, “Choosing to spend time with people who build you up, accept you, and love you is a sign of emotional health and intelligence.”