It Begins

Full honesty…I’m struggling today. 

Today is the day all the teachers report back. Historically, I love this day. And while I’m sure it’s dread for some, I treasure the newness and hope of the year ahead. I love hugging coworkers that I haven’t seen over the summer while I hold my coffee tumbler. We are all tan and rested, fresh from a slower pace. 

There are a couple meetings the first day; new procedures, initiatives the school or district is starting. And then we get time in our classrooms. Fresh, bright paper on the walls, new themes, class sets of names and popsicles sticks and everythings. 

But I’m on the couch trying to decide which park to go to today. 

It’s not that I’m regretting my decision. To take this year and be here for my kids; drive them to school and activities, volunteer. To dig in and research the effects of play and nature and movement on kids who have been through trauma. To learn and observe. 

But I feel a bit lost. In limbo today. 

So it begins. A weekly blog to document. Not because I think people are pouring over my every word in rapture, but to keep me accountable to use this gift of a year. And as I learned from blogging during the stay at home order, the more I write, the easier the words flow.  

So today my “meeting” is with my devotional and pilates. Instead of “room decor,” I’m writing and planning the year of learning.  And while I don’t have my dear coworkers, I have another week with my babies before they start back. 

But there’s still coffee. Always coffee.